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The Employee, The Past, and The Future…Part 2

I know I left part one with a juicy ending, but before I fully explain the juiciness, I’m going back to how things went after my boss spoke with them.

The mood was positive; the workers of the department saw the change and were willing to give them another chance. Well, all good things come to an end.

One day I was messaging my boss about something we discussed the week before. They let me know they were on their way to our location. I said okay and thought this was going to be a regular unscheduled visit. My teammate had been at lunch when the boss arrived. Fast-forward to my teammate returning and me leaving for lunch. The boss pulled my teammate to the side to talk. I asked if they wanted me to wait so someone would be on the floor. They said it was okay and to enjoy my lunch.

I walked back in the door to shocked faces, and I wanted to know what was going on. My teammate passed by with a different look than the one before my lunch. While I was gone, my teammate got fired. Now, I won’t mention the reason for termination, but it all leads to the same question.

Do you dig your own grave when you die?

No.

Well, don’t do it before you die.

Here’s my point. If you have a chance to prove those against you wrong, do it. Don’t give them a reason to speak negatively about you or cheer on your failure. Your decisions and actions determine where you go and how it happens. If you allow yourself to fall victim to negativity, you’re only digging a grave for your character and what you stand for. It then becomes a domino effect. If you dig the first grave, the rest of what makes you, you will assist in burying what’s left.

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The Employee, The Past, and The Future


Do you dig your own grave when you die?….. No!…. Well, don’t do it before you die.

If you have a history with a company and that history just happened to be you as an employee; don’t let your past determine or be your future. Don’t let it affect how you do what you do now. Be the better person and prove those against you wrong.

I have a story to tell about someone I worked with for one month. This story isn’t a bash story or one to make someone feel bad. This story is an experience. I’ll start by giving a little background about myself because I was once in the same position.

I was never a people person, and I hated customer service. What I did understand was that I needed a job, because I would soon have bills of my own to pay. To make a long story short, I was young, I wasn’t the best at it, and I had an attitude out of this world. If the words didn’t come out of my mouth, it showed on my face. I got fired for biting back at rude and angry customers, and I regretted it for a long time. Today, I don’t regret losing any of my jobs because it was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. If I were still doing this today, that would be pitiful. That means I didn’t learn anything.

Okay enough about me.

I started a new job and found out that I would be having a teammate. I thought I recognized the name, and I did. It was someone I encountered some time before starting the job. I thought to myself, “Cool, someone I sort of know.” I didn’t know this person on a personal level, but this person had a positive attitude when we met before.

On our first day together, there were red flags, but I ignored them when I found out this person had a history with the client. I didn’t want that to interfere with how we worked together. I didn’t care about their past issues with the company. We are living in the now; years have passed, and we are more mature.

After the first day, the negativity and paranoia began. Every day there was something negative to say, something to complain about, and added hostility to the environment. I made sure we were able to work together, but it had gotten to a point where I couldn’t stand to be around the nonsense. No one in the department wanted to be within a 50-foot radius of my teammate. Now, I have a high tolerance, maybe a little too high tolerance, but I eventually reached my breaking point. On the day I reached that point, I was exhausted and needed all my energy to engage with customers. The following situation is what tipped the bucket. A customer walked up, asked us a question, and we answered it as we should. I recognized the customer and said, “Oh, that’s so and so.” My teammate’s response was unrepeatable. My eyes got wide, and I walked away. I called my boss and told him what was going on. This incident resulted in him handling the situation, and I felt things were looking up. Boy, I was wrong.

You know how you watch a movie, and there’s a bunch of bad things happening, it gets solved, and everyone is relieved for about 10 seconds? Then something more dramatic happens? Well, this was one of those moments. When I thought everything was going good, something else was brewing like a developing hurricane in the ocean. It caught me by surprise because I walked right into it.

To be continued…

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Forgive and forget or forgive, but don’t forget…..

This is inspired by an article I read earlier. It was about the art of paying attention. I decided to write about something that we use in our everyday lives. I thought about how we use it, why we use it, what does it mean when we use it, and how our tone shapes the way we use it.

In my opinion, a majority of us think about forgiving and forgetting in this way:

When you forgive, you free yourself…..

Some also believe that forgetting will free you too…..

……does it?

Forgive and forget has their fair share of meanings and they pretty much mean the same thing. Both words express “letting go”. If you look deep enough, you’ll find “forgive” in “forget” and vice versa.

When we say “forgive and forget” or “forgive, but don’t forget”, what are we telling one another? Let go and let go? Or are we saying to “stop the blame and don’t remember”? Is that the same thing or does one have a stronger meaning than the other. There are so many combinations that can run us in circles.

I always thought when you truly forgive someone, it frees you. It removes the animosity you have towards the individual that caused the negative impact. It prevents you from bringing that anger to your new relationships and situations.

I always took forgetting as leaving behind the past and never looking back.

Let’s talk about relationships…

If you walk into another relationship (personal or professional) and you are overcome by anger when approaching a situation similar to the one that ended negatively, you haven’t forgiven the other person/people and/or yourself. There is more to leaving a bad thing in the past than just walking away. You have to face it, not let it hold you back, or scare you.

There are a few things you should walk yourself through in order to let go: Get a better understanding of why it happened. Ask the right questions. Be ready take responsibility for your role in this situation. How did your involvement impact decisions made by others? Be sure you’re upset for the right reasons and with the right people. Listen to those involved and get their point of view. Put yourself in their shoes. Put it together and come to a conclusion. It was either something that could or could not be controlled. If it was preventable, take note of it and prepare for it in the future. If it couldn’t be controlled, chalk it up to, “the things that could happen,” and take note of it. Don’t let it discourage you. Forgive yourself first, forgive those involved, but never forget what happened.

…and of course, there’s this one…

“If anyone asks, we never had this conversation.” That means, “Remember this conversation when you need to, but forget it when you have to.” Apply that same concept. Don’t let it work against you, make it work for you. When you learn to forgive and not forget, you’ll be better prepared for the future. [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]